“It’s got two dart boards. TWO fucking dart boards!”

The self conscious nerve centre of Hackditchston (Shoredalney? Dalsneyditch?) is making a name for itself springing up some noteworthy food-based events in the last few months. Well now another one has popped up, the three month burger residency of Fattburger at The 3 Compasses.

It’s getting harder and harder to find a proper boozer-looking boozer in London, but the 3 Compasses is one of them, channelling the character of a sparse Working Man’s club, complete with rudimentary furniture, but run by some very friendly Dalstonites. It’s got two dart boards. TWO fucking dart boards! Do you know how hard it is to find a pub that has one? We’re sold. It’s also got Oranjeboom on tap. Double sold.

We ordered the three meaty offerings at the bar; the Fattburger, the Fatt Pig and the special of the night, the Fatty Korean. Our wait seemed to be a lot longer than others, and when my comrade questioned it at the bar we found out why: someone had taken our order to the wrong table by mistake, and that table (who hadn’t ordered any food) had happily accepted, and preceded to eat it all.

I know, fucking scumbags right? Apologies abound, our order was placed again and arrived quick smart complimentary skinny fries in all their salty goodness.

These are classically American-looking burgers - the cheese is impressively melty and the lettuce and tomato pop out. Apart from one sandwich arriving with a bottom bun on top, first impressions are good.

Ironically, the name of this residency doesn’t describe the offering. The patties aren’t fat(t). In fact, they are actuall anorexic. Or thin(n). This makes the meat hard to taste in the mix, as it’s lost by everything else. It’s palpably overwhelmed by the bun, which is dense, quite hard and crumbly, possibly a tad stale. They are pretty big as well, resulting in the last couple of bites being a salad sandwich.

The composition of the burger is good. The cheese threw out a pleasant après- -tang. It had plenty of tomato, lettuce and onion. And the sauces, whilst not brilliantly distinctive, were abundant. The combination lead to an agreeable, standard burger. The winner of the trio was the Fatty Korean - the kimchi added a mild kick, warm flavour and crazy amounts of saucy moisture that soaked into the dry bun and made it more-satisfyingly sloppy.

The ethos of Fattburger, and enthusiasm of the chef that serves up his wares, housed in such no-nonsense surroundings is cool as hell; all it needs is for the burgers to improve a bit and it’ll be a surefire East London go-to.

It’s early days, and we’ve got a feeling a return visit is on the cards.

  • Rob.