Tupelo Junction Cafe / Santa Barbara, CA

This stuff shouldn’t be served for brunch, it is so moreishly dessert-like.

With deceptively soft ‘n fluffy French-baguette-style bread, the perfectly heavy-but-not-too-heavy whipped cream and jammy sweet blackberry sauce welded together at the bottom of the plate like a soup. Mopping it up with the bread was like eating a decadently syrupy bread and butter pudding.

It was filling as all hell as too: the perfect follow up to the previous Four Loko’d evening.

A fine breakfast option if you’re passing through Santa Barbara.

tupelojunction.com

• Rob.

Macrina Bakery / Seattle, WA

Man, Americans can do brunch.

The French toast here was soft and perfectly moist. Paired with the coulis-like apricot jam, which was well balanced between sweet and sharp, and a dash of whipped cream it was cracking. The inclusion of the chicken apple sausage was inspired. More delicate on the palate than it’s porky brethren; lobbing a chunk of this in with the French toast and jam was a sweet ‘n savoury texture-laden pleasure.

There are a few Macrina’s dotted around Seattle, and I’d recommend you find one if you’re ever there. It’s laid back, with great staff who are happy for you to chill for as long as you like and let the hangover subside. You can even grab some sweet looking bread and pastries for later in the day. The coffee kicked ass as well.

macrinabakery.com

• Rob.

Cafe 222 / San Diego, CA

It’s a hard knock yolk

In the past, I’ve always been ‘You CANNOT get a bad Eggs Benedict in the states esse’ (Yup, just like that). Well, you can scratch that now, I found a place.

Having found some good reviews of Café 222, we wandered for way longer than our hangovers desired to check it out. We were both in a Benedict mood so I had the pork patty version, whilst my compadre had the standard.

It was a less than overwhelming sight when it arrived. The hollandaise looked like it had separated a bit on both our plates, leaving speckles of melted butter floating around. It tasted like it looked, heavy and buttery. And when I cut into the eggs, the yolks were hard. I was like, this must be a mistake, but my friend cut into his and.. the same. Who cooks the yolks to solid in a fucking Benny?! The griddled potatoes were ok, but not enough of a saving grace for that travesty.

This place had won some gold medallion food award SIX years in a row? Fuck that shit.

Luckily, we also ordered a much-lauded-on-the-interwebs waffle. Our choice was the stuffed granola, and it was great. The chunks of granola intermingled with the waffle batter was a novel touch, and tasty as with heaps of maple syrup poured over. Now *there* was the saving grace we’d been looking for. If I’d’ve just had the Benny, I’d’ve been pissed.

cafe222.com

• Rob.

Hawksmoor Guildhall / Guildhall, London

“It feels odd saying that you should visit a steakhouse to sample the pastry chef’s baking.”

Hawksmoor introducing breakfast as a permanent fixture at their new Guildhall location is smart. I’ve already spent a few hundred words on how damn smart they are, so let’s look at the actual food.

Chemex

Smart. Looks grandiose. Unusual to find too, since most places will happily charge you £3-a-pop on coffee, to the extent you’ll only have one, and then leave feeling under-caffeinated. Chemex is smart. A word of warning though, it certainly doesn’t stay warm for long.

The H&K muffin

Evil genius. There are two eggs in there. It has the same cheese/starch/meat combo hit of a McMuffin, but does it without the dirt. It’s £8.50. That’s a bargain.

Eggs Benedict

The ability to deliver a good eggs benny is the yardstick I’ve long used to rank restaurants in order of breakfast ability. Keeping a good hollandaise going is tough. It demonstrates skills. It’s also something you’re rarely arsed to make from scratch at home. Again, it’s perfectly executed here. One of the best I’ve had in the UK, especially if, like me, you like your hollandaise nice and vinegary. The quality of the ham helps elevate it too.

Marmelade French Toast

A small portion, but it’s rich. Light, fluffy but with expansive qualities. I’m not a marmelade guy at all, but the dish maintains a sweet and citrussy thrall, with just enough sugar. Mrs D felt it slightly underdone, but that’s just how I like it. How did they know. Etc. etc.

Scotch Pancakes with bacon

The difference here is the maple syrup is proper and that these are scotch pancakes. They’re not buttermilky American pancakes. Think dropscone and add some more lemon. Nice.

Doughnuts. Baked Goods.

The secret weapon. Right up there with the very, very best. It feels odd saying that you should visit a steakhouse to sample the pastry chef’s baking.

The Point of it All

If you’ve been putting off visiting Hawksmoor due to wallet restrictions, then my advice is book a table for breakfast and go for it. You can spend £15-20 per head and get some of the best morning food in the capital. Keep away from the steak and you’ll be fine. I’m sure the steak and eggs are lovely, but they’re not going to be as special as these Britished-up takes on American breakfast classics.

Be sure to check out the breakfast gallery for pictures of all of the above

and then have a quick read of our essay on why Hawksmoor are so fricking smart.

• Simon.

Hawksmoor

Clinton Street Baking Co. / New York, NY

When it comes to a benedict, serving it on a buttermilk biscuit is just an enormous no-no.

Hype.

Hype hypey hype.

In a city that breakfasts and brunches with the very best of them, Clinton Street Baking Company is right up there on the must-visit lists. The weekend queues can be legendary. We, however, showed up mid-morning on a Monday. We didn’t have to queue, to the point where merely asking for a table and getting one immediately seemed to piss off the Maitre d’.

So we were in, nestled at the back near the kitchen window, and we were hungry. For me, the eggs benedict is always the quality benchmark, especially in such a celebrated environment. It’s worth noting at this point that Clinton Street are all about the biscuits and gravy throughout the menu. When it comes to a benedict, serving it on a buttermilk biscuit is just an enormous no-no.

Biscuits are effectively scones. Imagine a scone with a slightly overcooked poached egg, some fairly flavourless hollandaise and some inexplicable shavings of red pepper and, er, spring onion. Sorry, scallions.

And then, when you cut into it, the biscuit (scone) immediately disintegrates. Because that’s what they do. It ruins the dish, makes a huge mess and you’re left picking out the inexplicable bits of spring onion from your teeth.

Compared to a muffin or toast-based benedict, this was a huge disappointment. I don’t mind a good biscuit when used in the right context, but here it was being different just for the thematic sake of it. One of the worst dishes on this trip in a place that seemed like it would be a slam dunk.

Oh and the pancakes were fine, but the maple butter was weird. A greasier, claggier version of syrup that had a slight burnt aftertaste. $13 is a bit punchy.

I don’t think we ordered right, but I just can’t suffer through another of their buttermilk biscuits, so won’t be back for another go.

Don’t believe the hype, and leave the queues for everyone else. Katz’s Deli is only round the block.

• Simon.

clintonstreetbaking.com